Breathless...

I love it...when God leaves me breathless...standing in awe of who He is and what He does because of who He is...


I find it funny, like not haha funny or even completely ironically funny…but just funny that God does not really care what I think. He really doesn’t. And for some of us, that is offensive. No time have I have looked at God and said, “God I think _______ about my life or this or that” has he said “Really? Well, I have never thought about it like that; thank you for your infinite wisdom.” See, God does not say that to me…ever.


But deep down, I am okay with that. I am okay with the fact that God listens to my cries, complaints, pleas, petitions (Read Psalm 34; Psalm 40; Philippians 4)….but that He only responds to what is BEST for me…not because I THINK one way or the other. I don’t know about the rest of you, but many times I find myself wanting to have a life plan…you know, making sure that every little decision I make is just right, so that my so called perfect plan does not go down the drain. I also like to have comfort in knowing and projecting into the future. And many times, I fear the unknown…can anyone identify with that? I do not need your assurance to feel as if I am onto something…lol…I know that I am. If you never worry about anything please contact me because I am in need of some help! I am getting to some truth here so don’t check out quite yet.


See, the last several years I have had these plans of mine that seem so great and grand and what I would deem perfect. Ha. But time and again, God looks at them and says, “Nope, you’re missing it a little…let me take the lead.” So, for some time I let him reign over where I am headed. But then for some reason, that really makes no logical sense as a follower of Christ, I start to think I can do a better job than He can and I try to take back what it was I gave to Him. What foolishness. I do take it back sometimes and even feel as if I am succeeding at going in the right direction for what I want out of this short life…but then eventually, I get knocked in the head and He turns me around and He shows me that His plans are higher than mine, His ways are higher than mine-that there is nothing that can compare to Him and His glory. (Also read Isaiah 55)


So, I give back to Him what rightfully His in the first place-and I pray, that His will becomes my will, His ways my ways-that the way I love people projects the way He does-that the way I worship Him projects who He truly is and not some false image of who I have tried to make Him to be-THEN I begin to truly know Him and He leaves me breathless.


Tonight after prayer, I spoke with my mom for a few minutes and then I just rode home in complete silence. I also spent some time in silence once I got home…because I felt this uncertainty and was wondering “OH CRAP, God what are YOU doing with me?” haha. Yes, I said it just like that too…because the fact is that God leaves me speechless when all of the sudden I am so overwhelmed with His love and His grace and the provision that He has for me that nothing else really matters anymore-nothing, not what someone thinks of me, not my clothes, or my broken car, or my job, or any of the things that I can so easily become consumed by-with worrying and thinking and over-analyzing…NOTHING else mattered in that still silence with God but HIM.


It brings tears to my eyes as I sit here and think of how much I could be missing out on when I keep taking back parts of my life from Him. Because when I look into His eyes, the finances to get me where I want to go and where I feel that God is leading me…they don’t matter anymore…that internship…it doesn’t matter anymore…that friendship…it doesn’t matter anymore…because God has fulfilled His promise in not leaving me wanting in any area. He did not bring me…or YOU this far to leave you wanting.


That my friend, is what He wants from you. To leave you breathless with tears in your eyes looking at Him and realizing that He is all you need and want-that He does not leave you wanting-He doesn’t leave the worry or the pain or the anger-He leaves you standing in awe wondering what He could possibly be doing in your life by turning it upside down. You think you have a five year plan huh? Well I can say that God may have an eternal plan for your life that you are hindering because you are so consumed with what you have planned. It is a daily surrender, but let God do something radical in your life. I am working towards that every moment and I pray that you will too. That you end up on your knees or your face before God knowing that the plans He has for your life outweigh anything you could have ever imagined for yourself. Don’t sell yourself short by thinking you know best.


Jeremiah 29:11-14 For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.”


Just remember in reading that passage that prospering you does not necessarily mean wanting you to be wealthy…God’s view of what makes us rich is often very different than the world’s. Be sure that we adopt a Biblical view point of how God sees us and our prosperity.


I pray that God overwhelms your heart with who He is-that He leaves you speechless-breathless in His presence. That you may know Him like never before. That it will not matter the money in your bank account, the car you drive, the house you live in, the job you have-that all of those things will be but a part of the physical world we live in and nothing more. That God will teach you how to live a radically sold out life for Him because His ways are perfect-in Him there is no flaw.


I will put this one on a lot of things…one of my favorite verses:


Ephesians 3:20-21 20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.