"Guard Your Heart"

So many times growing up…and even in the last few years, people always say “guard your heart.” At some points, I have recognized the need for the “guarding of the heart.” It is a popular thing for people to say in Christianity-or at least the Christianity I have "seen" the last 17 years. I have even heard it told to a young woman, who just having been used and abused by a man, that if only she had “guarded her heart” she would not have been going through that tough time. It made me angry to hear that at that time. My friend probably did think about that in the process but the last thing she really needed to hear at her lowest point was that she should have guarded her heart. Of course, if she is a professing Christian she realized that already. Just stick a helping hand out or a shoulder to cry on-don’t lecture about something that you do not even understand. If that person knew what it really meant to “guard one’s heart” she would have helped the young woman guard her own.

Don’t worry or check out on me. I am getting to something so just bare with my antics. A few years ago, my mother kept telling me “guard your heart,” “guard your heart,” “guard your heart, it is going to hurt if you give too much of your heart away and you don’t get the same thing in return.” Well, while I completely understood the “Christian” motherly rationale behind this statement, guarding my heart became an overwhelming task. It resulted in not easily trusting other people because I thought that if I were to “guard my heart” it meant never letting anyone close to the intricate person God has made me to be. Not to say that I did not have lasting deep relationships at the time that I began to think this way, but I know that other people missed out on me in their lives-and I missed out on having them. This was either because I pushed them away, or I thought they had to earn my trust…I initially thought (with some people not all) that they were only going to break my heart so they had to earn the trust so that we could pursue a deeper relationship.

Now, when people say, just “guard your heart” Jess. I say-What exactly do you mean by that? Like….what does that even mean-can you tell me? Are you telling me to be careful or cautious with giving part of my heart away? Are you telling me to stay away from people and not let them get close to me at all? What exactly does “guarding your heart” mean to you? What most people seem to be saying is just “be careful.” Okay that is great. Thank you, but I would deem that “guarding my heart” is a bit deeper than that-At least from a Christian perspective.

First we should probably understand what our heart is. It is a center piece of who God has made us to be. It is the intimate part of a person, that which goes pitter patter for the one we love or our God-it is the same part that commits to the Lord. The heart, being something most precious and valuable that God’s word says this:
20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. 23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:20-23

The Scriptures use the word “heart” so many times. Just use a search engine or a concordance to look it up. You will see what I mean. We should guard our hearts from evil, from foul speech, from jealousy, from provoking others, from hatred, from this or that-all of these things can be found in the Bible…in commands and teachings about how we live the Christian life. In order to protect from these things we have to be equipped. We read Scripture, pray, and surround ourselves with those that are uplifting in spirit.

Philippians 4 says that if we are not anxious and pray then the peace of God that goes beyond all understanding will “guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

We should also guard our hearts, keep the heart safe, from those in our lives that only want to take and take and take; or from becoming overly emotionally attached to someone when we shouldn’t; or from trying to get fulfillment in things that are only temporary. I don’t know about you but as I list the many things we should guard our hearts against, it becomes exhausting and for me overwhelming-how can one guard themselves from all of these things intentionally? Is there a certain prayer or certain actions that we should take in order to do this?

While I believe that prayer and seeking God on a daily basis helps-it is the sure way of being in tune with God and His Spirit. I do know what doesn’t help. I learned that “guarding my heart” did not mean never letting anyone get close to me ever. It is not about making people earn a place in my life (which I think we do so often, especially at the Christian institution in which I work and attend school). Granted, we do not want to just let anyone into our personal lives, but we don’t want to end up not doing that either. I have felt recently that I have to prove myself to someone over and over again just to make them see that I am not like seemingly majority of people that have seemed to be stereotyped. But then I realized that I am not living for this person. I am living for me. And Christ in me proves true over and over again. The Holy Spirit leads and guards my heart so that I do not go astray. “Guarding my heart” does not mean not taking risks on being close to people-though for several months that is how I felt and I think that many of you feel the same way.

You can guard your heart and honor God and still get to know people on an intimate level; by intimate I mean the inner being of who the person is-their hearts. And if for some reason they “break your heart” well, you know who to turn to for healing. Now as far as all of the other things that you should be “guarding your heart” against-run from those-the sin…jet in the other direction…there is only death and destruction waiting when we do not guard against the things and people who are out to distract us from the purpose God has. To know Him and to make Him known. What a beautiful thing. “Guard your heart” and don’t allow it to be tainted by the things of this world. “Guard your heart” against cynicism-no one is perfect, but at least pray and seek God about how to “guard your heart’ in response to those around you. Some people, they don’t need to know all of your business; hey, probably most people do not need to know-but there are those that you and I may be keeping at an arm’s length that maybe if you let down some of the guardedness, there would be a bit of blessing on its way.

So, we should “guard our hearts” against the things of this world, against the lies, deceit, evil, lust, jealousy, envy, greed, etc. that the world would tell us we have a right to. We should “guard our hearts” enough so that we do not invest so much of ourselves into another person apart from God, that we are left feeling empty and broken. We should “guard our hearts” against our own flesh and thoughts that do not coincide with what God is saying.

We should render ourselves, our thoughts, and our hearts to the Lord Jesus-if we let Him lead and guide us, then “guarding our hearts” won’t be a mystery anymore. It won’t be complicated or misunderstood. The next time someone says to me “Jess are you guarding your heart?” or “Jess guard your heart” I think I will still as what that means-because I do not want to be one of those people that is so guarded due to the fear of being hurt or rejected that my life has no risks. Be wise, be rational, be filled with God’s Spirit to make appropriate decisions about “guarding your heart” but by all means do not just “guard your heart” for fear of receiving a broken one. Let the commitment run deeper than that. Render your heart to the One who saves, gives life, gives peace, gives precious joy.

Be totally, completely, unreserved with the love you have for Jesus Christ.

More, More, More...

James 4:2

You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. (New International Version)

Some things are just never enough.

Do you ever feel like you long for something…you get it…then a few weeks, months, or years…you long for more? For something else even? Something newer, brighter, shinier, better…

Maybe you got a new car, and a few years later, you are tired of that car, so you get a new one.
Maybe you are desperate to get married, you get married, and a few years later, just being married isn’t enough…you want more-bigger car, bigger house, more kids, etc.
Maybe you sign up at a job under a particular salary, you work there for several years, and then, what you are getting paid just does not seem to be enough for what you do.

The point here is to ask the question “Are we really ever satisfied in anything?”

So many times I hear my young friends who are newly married get restless with what they have, and they complain. I hear people who pay hundreds of thousands of dollars on a home complain because something is not good enough. Not that I do not ever long for more…I imagine we all do at some point. I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a close friend about how many times in America we just want to “keep up with the Joneses”-meaning we see what others have and we think that that particular thing is missing, so our motivation is to get more or to complain when we do not.

We seem to live in a dissatisfied place. More, more, more, more….more stuff, more expectations of each other, more of this or that…you fill in the blank. At times, I believe that this wanting of more may stem from envy of others. This too I have had a conversation about with a friend recently. Envy means that you want what someone else has and you do not want them to have it. Envy causes resentment toward the person who possesses what you want, or it causes bitterness when you have unmet expectations. Envy can be a root for dissatisfaction.

Disstatisfaction also comes along when we are seeking fulfillment in the things seen. We see something we want it. We want, we want, we want…then we mistake what we want for what we need. This is definitely not the same thing. So, we seek to be fully satisfied in things that only temporarily quench a thirst that we have. It is like drinking salt water when you are dehydrated. It just does NOT quench the thirst…and it can even make it worse.

For some reason the best analogy that many people my age relate to is that of marriage. The girl wants so badly to get married…the guy proposes, they plan a wedding…they get married, have a honeymoon, and then start a beautiful life together. But so many times I hear about how one or the other was trying to fill a void with that other person. Since I am a girl, I will use this from an aspect of a female; sorry men. I definitely do not claim to have a lot of insight into you ;). The girl complained before she dated the boy (probably about her singleness or about how others had what she did not), then when she finally started dating and getting what she thought she wanted most, she complained about something there; then after they get married, there are more wants…it never stops. The wanting, seeking, striving for something more never ceases. My tolerance for selfish complaining like this really starts to wear thin. But the idea is the same with anything-you think you deserve a better pay, better house, better spouse, better _______. You “think” you deserve what someone else has…and yet the hole in your chest will come back. It is a guarantee.

Now, this probably sounds pretty pessimistic, but I honestly think that is how we do a lot of things in life. We get something we longed for, it’s not good enough so we want more…but something seems to always be missing-even for a lot of us “Christian” people.

The truth, however, is that those of us who profess a believing faith in Jesus Christ should look and sound differently in regards to ALL areas of life; this includes what we strive for, what we long for, what we find our satisfaction in. I get sooooo mad at myself when I start to think about the “mores” of life as I like to call them. When we get our eyes of off the main focus of this life, then even the blessings in our lives are not enough…because the holes are trying to be filled with things that are only temporary. God’s Word says this: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV) The verses before these talk about the grace that is extended to all people and how thanksgiving should overflow. If only our eyes would remain fixed where they belong would we not be distracted by dissatisfaction.

It is not that wanting blessings such as nice cars, houses, kids, spouses are wrong. It is when more is needed from these things to make us feel temporarily full on the inside than is sought out in the Lord. The problem is seen in 2 Corinthians. We are wasting away. We are inevitably dying, whether we want to or not. The things we hold so tightly to, they are wasting away and the fulfillment they provide is momentary. That more, more, more that we want should be focused on Jesus-then satisfaction is guaranteed. And…we won’t aggravate everyone around us with our complaining or pity parties.

Instead of complaining or thinking too much about the “mores” of life that I may deem important or necessary for my satisfaction in this temporary life, I have challenged myself instead to pray. I have been reading Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala. If you have not read it, I would recommend it. There are some great ideas on prayer and trusting God as well as amazing stories within this book. One of my favorite sections speaks of praying and how we do not have because we do not ask. We do not get everything we ask for, but we may be lacking because we do not ask in faith for God to provide. This could include asking for something more satisfying, like the fulfillment of Jesus. Many Christians may say amen or agree with this statement; however, it is not as simplistic as we may think. If it were as easy as it sounds then we would not be dissatisfied in life.

So, the challenge. Rend your heart from temporary and momentary things…stop looking at what you do not have and look at what you do. Instead of complaining in each phase of your life, maybe take a look at someone else’s life…at how it would feel if you were in their shoes. A change of perspective is a good place to start-this may be a change to God’s perspective of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness aka “the mores”. Rend your heart from temporary and momentary things.

Render your heart to the things that will last forever-there is only ONE person that can constantly satisfy all of our needs, wants, desires. That is Jesus Christ. When we seek MORE of Him then what we may be lacking in other areas do not matter.
 “We often go without things God wants us to have right now, today, because we fail to ask.” Jim Cymbala


Jeremiah 29:11-13


For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. (New International Version)