What Is it Worth To You?

Love compels us to sell all of our belongings or to lay down our life for a stranger or to sit next to someone's death bed...love compels us to bring a cup of coffee to a coworker, to let someone take the last parking spot...love compels us to hold open the door for the elderly...


I have recently come to admire Mother Teresa and things that she said and did. This is partly to blame on friends of mine who inspired me to read books that spoke of her deeds. I had one already…then last week a new friend bought me a happy (if you do not know what that means just ask me) and she gave me another book full of wisdom from Mother Teresa. And well, as for Jesus, I have his ultimate book of wisdom, knowledge, romance, and so forth in one large volume…the Bible.

I think that we can all agree, no matter what our stance on life that Jesus was self-less. He was self-sacrificing in so many ways. Mother Teresa, well, most would agree she was self-less. She gave up on material possessions and held onto God’s direction and promises in her life…thus making a difference in the lives of those around her…

As I was thinking tonight about the many things I am learning right now, I was so overwhelmed. I not only learn from my mistakes but also from the mistakes of others. I learn from God’s Word and from the wisdom of the precious people around me. For me to pinpoint on specific thing on my heart this week that I would want to share with you all is almost impossible. God wants me to speak but when I open my mouth I fumble for words…and even on paper things cannot come out properly. But I said the heck with it…hopefully something in this messy rendition of a blog or journal you will find a little piece of truth between you and God. Because the whole point in me writing anything in the first place is to show off my Big God…to give Him glory…to challenge myself and you believers and non-believers to think about what is going on inside of you. Maybe you disagree with what I have to say…that is fine. Maybe you wish you express your own thoughts about the topic…please share the love…literally and figuratively.

I initially posted a few weeks ago about what it means to rend our hearts. To rend could mean to shatter or break apart. Then, we looked at the word render…and established that if you render your heart you are yielding it to something, submitting it, giving into something greater…so, you rend your heart and break away from all the things that you thought you could not live without, and render your heart and surrender to something greater than yourself…God of the Bible. Your heart is made up of the inner core of who you are…it can be hard to put the word heart with a concrete definition, but I think most of you understand what I am trying to convey. If not, help me out please.

I keep coming back to hurting hearts, to this idea of painful love. For so long, especially in a world desensitized by the media and society on what true love is, I believed in love that was unrealistic, but what I have seen in the lives of those around me and those I read about and see even in my own life is this: Love is inseparable from pain. If you dare to truly love, then you dare to be hurt. Jesus was the ultimate example of this painful love.

Mother Teresa once said, “We should ask ourselves, ‘Have I really experienced the joy of loving?’ True love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy. That is why we must pray and ask for the courage to love.”


Man, I wish I could have put it better…but this is beautiful.

Another sweet woman I know once wrote me a letter when I was going through a very difficult time in my life and she said this: “The connection and friendship we all desire comes with some high costs…including being willing to be OK with the stuff, the baggage, the hang-ups of those we love. Only Jesus will be open and honest, with no fear or agenda…Tell Him everything. He is our safe haven, and we surely need one, so we can be a safe haven friend for others.”

You see, I am not talking about those of us who stay in relationships and friendships that are a hindrance and cause us physical pain, such as abusive relationships. I am also not talking about you staying in any relationship that is not glorifying God for the sake of you believing you are “in love.” This is not at all what I am talking about. If you are being hurt by someone physically because you think you are in love with that person then please let me or someone else know…ok?

Alrighty, moving on. I would venture to say that Mother Teresa, having seen the things she saw and physically been a part of the lives of the poor and needy, had a severe understanding of what it meant to love people and to hurt. What a heart wrenching thing to look out in India, Africa, or any other country, take your pick, yes America even, and see those suffering and truly hurt for them. Maybe you have to sacrifice physically or financially to love on them. It is easy to love when you are in your comfort zone…things feel good and warm. I am convinced that once we start to see one another through God’s eyes then this life becomes less about us and more about others around us, thus, us loving deeper, harder, more passionately…giving compassion and tending to the needs of others.


Think about this. You want to be loved…and you want to love. At least most of us do anyway, if you say you don’t then you are not being honest with yourself. Here is one of my hang ups…we say we want these things and yet we are not willing to be open and honest with pure intentions. We also only want to love others if they are basically perfect. Then if you hold yourself to this same standard you will probably become guilt ridden and full of shame for your lack of ability to be perfect. Now you would never tell someone that (at least most of you wouldn’t tell someone that), but you think it. The fact of the matter, however, is that we all carry baggage, we have all experienced hang ups…so in order to be friends with someone or even to be in a relationship with someone, you have to be willing to look past that baggage. Though my friend said that “only Jesus will be open and honest, with no fear or agenda,” I believe that it is possible for us to be that way together…to be this way with each other. This is part of hurting and carrying each other’s pain.

All I know after writing this is that I can’t do this on my own. I can’t look past my own baggage, the baggage of others, and learn to love sacrificially and with my whole heart on my own. A friend of mine recently put it this way, “If only I would stop trying to do things in my own strength and live life on my own; the key is to stop trying so hard in our own strength and allow the Holy Spirit to live life through us.” I am like uh yea…this is so true. So much less exhausting and so much more fulfilling. I pray that you guys can read this and be encouraged to seek one another out but also to seek God. Blessings and peace.


"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14